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Since I am bipolar, I am a little more sensitive to disappointment than most people. Disappointment can send my brain's chemicals spiraling out of control. I must say that being creative also has helped me. I must confess, in the past, I was a horrible responder to disappointment. I often ended up in the hospital. Writing and the right meds have changed my life. Also, finding my spiritual center has helped me. Maybe even climbing the old aging ladder and settling down in life has something to do with it. My strategies now are better and healthier. To be honest, I do have one coping mechanism that is like the old "in case of emergency, break glass" scene in most public places back in the days gone by. It's not the healthiest, but it works for me.
First, let me explain how my writing has helped me to cope with disappointment. I used to be so thin skinned. To be a writer and a successful one, you must toughen up. You won't last a minute in a critique group and you'll throw up your hands and quit when the rejection slips start rolling in. There's nothing quite like going to your writer's group thinking you just wrote a best selling chapter in your book. That is why a writing group is so vital. Not only do they improve your writing, more importantly, they thicken your skin. You can even have phone friends that are your writing partners if going to a physical group is impossible. You e-mail them a copy of your work to discuss. Phone them to have them critique it if they don't critique it by e-mail. I have to admit, the first few times my precious baby was ripped to pieces, it was like a personal knife in my heart. I was in a group of professional writers and didn't want to seem to amateurish, so I behaved myself and kept my feelings under control. Until I got home and had a good cry along with a glass of wine. However, that taught me I "could" have self-control.
The first few rejection slips were also hard for me to bare. Then when five turns into twenty-five, each one gets easier and easier. When you get three a day, rejection seems totally impersonal, then when the one comes in that has a signature and a written note, you think you've hit pay dirt even though it is a rejection. I always write them a personal thank you when anyone takes the time to write anything on the slips. Writing has toughened me up. However, don't get the idea that I never get depressed.
I revert those times to my emergency coping mechanism. I'm on sleeping medications at night since I am bipolar. If I feel myself getting depressed, I take some sleeping medication and sleep it off. This is not one of the better coping mechanisms but it works for me. When I am healthier and stronger, then I try to go on my back porch, drink some tea, and sit quietly listening to the birds and watching my dogs play. Often that can change my mood back to a place of no longer feeling sorry for myself. Once I do this, I can try to get busy doing something that needs to be done that doesn't take a lot of thinking. Once I finish a project like that, the satisfaction of getting a job done brings me out of the pits of despair. I have healthy and unhealthy ways of dealing with disappointment. My goal is to get back to a point where I can write and be productive again. But more importantly, my goal is to stay out of the hospital. So far, so good it's been three years since I've been hospitalized.