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Following the First Gulf War, my son returned home acting in a strange manner. After seeing several psychiatrists, my child was given his diagnosis, told that he had a serious mental health problem; he had suffered a psychotic episode. The treatment would be long-term. As he was an adult, doctors would have final say about treatment when he was in a psychotic state or otherwise too disabled to make health care decisions for himself.
Once my son’s treatment had returned him to a mental state where he could make legal decisions for himself, he agreed to give me power of attorney over his medical treatment.
My family lawyer prepared this document and my son participated. He was advised of his rights. His questions were answered to his satisfaction and he knew that the document would be used only when he was unable to make his own decisions due to a severe mental impairment or a physical injury.
Over the many years since that day in the attorney’s office, I have found that having this document has helped me advocate for my son in many ways. Twice I was able to keep my son out of long-term care facilities that would have stopped progress toward better treatment. The patients in these facilities were considered incurable. One facility had an untrained aid distributing medications. She seemed very concerned about her own depression and she gave my son several bottles of another patient’s medications! One of his roommates was vomiting blood and had been waiting for a treatment for weeks. Without power of attorney, I would have needed a court order to remove him. The doctor could have taken me to court to try to change this decision. After what I had seen, he would have been at a great disadvantage. Still, doctors had this right and could have used it.
This legal document is a key. It was not used to delve into my son’s private sessions with his doctor. It is seldom used to avoid a doctor’s recommendations. With the laws enforced to protect medical records, it is primarily used to help him fill out disability forms, set up appointments and deal with the various agencies that help with his care.
My prayer is for a cure. For now, my thirty-eight-year-old son is living in his own place in a pasture behind my house. Due to a new medication and a fine doctor, he is taking his first significant steps toward freedom from his terrible disease. For the first time in well over a decade, he can smile and tell me that he just might lick this disease. I know he will.
Consider, with the help of your lawyer, your adult child’s mental health consumer’s rights in your state. If your child refuses to participate, consider a mediator. Including his doctor is wise also. It is just one tool but it can be an important one. Having power of attorney for my adult son enabled me to be a better advocate for his care.