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When people hear the words "mentally ill," they think of those who are crazy and so far gone, they can't even think for themselves. They think of those who are dangerous or threatening. Recently, there was an incident in New York City where a passerby was hit by a flying brick. A manhunt began for an individual predicted to be both homeless and mentally ill. A widely read tabloid exploded, imploring the City to remove the "deranged" mentally ill off our streets. I even caught myself reading the stories, being frightened by them and nodding in agreement. Then, the Mayor issued orders to remove the homeless off the streets, all in the guise of public safety. This happened around Thanksgiving week, 1999. The perpetrator turned out to be neither homeless nor mentally ill. The image people have of us is not accurate and is driven by media and entertainment characterizations, which make our lives more difficult to lead.

In a recent episode titled "All in the Family" of the highly rated NBC network drama series ER, a first break paranoid schizophrenic was portrayed as the brutal assailant of two of the series' most popular characters. One regular series character died from her wounds. For what purpose? Only for the sake of a plot-twist enabling the actor to be able to exit the program. So, is it any wonder why persons diagnosed with psychotic mental disorders and their family members are in denial? Who would want to have a name like "schizophrenic" or "psychotic" associated with an illness they have?

Denial is the dragon we must slay when it blocks the road to wellness. The good news is that if you face down the dragon your life can resume its course. The interruption caused by the illness can be brief now. Since medications are working virtual miracles nowadays, most people can look forward to going back to school or work. Getting married, having kids, whatever they want remains possible as long as they stay out of denial and on medication. Being in denial means the illness remains ignored, and any illness if ignored gets progressively worse. If you're in denial you can count on a very difficult life without treatment. It is a cycle going nowhere. On the other hand, you can overcome denial by investigating the possibility of having a mental illness and getting it managed early.

All we ever wanted was to fit into mainstream society. Well, that's why there are Awakenings Groups, which are "peer-run" support groups. "Peer-run" means they are run exclusively by and for people with mental illnesses. Since they are run in this way, it is easier for us to talk about our experiences. Sharing with others who have had similar experiences is a very powerful experience in itself. Despite all the positive things about Awakenings Groups, we have found it very difficult to maintain a First Break Awakenings Group. Every time groups engage individuals with first break experiences many quickly vanish. What are we doing wrong? There's no push to get you to talk. The First Break Group meets in someone's home where the atmosphere is cozy. There's a strong sense of camaraderie when we talk together, discussing things that bother us as well as things that don't. Conversations cover issues from medication to socializing to Knicks games to whatever else you can think of and it's perfectly all right to sit quietly and listen. But chances are you've come with a burden to lift, which the rest of the group can help you with. That's what Awakenings Groups are for. After the group adjourns, you should walk away feeling lighter.

Prospective group members who experience a recent first break have to deal with denial. You still haven't come to terms with your situation. Some in the Awakenings Groups have the same issue to deal with while others have already slain that dragon. I know -- my first break was only 19 months ago. I hope my testimony here helps you reconsider your denial and enter into a support group where you can begin to get your life back. If you can't make that decision right now, cut this article out and put it somewhere safe where you can find it later. Trust me; you'll need it or something like it.

When you are ready and tired of the isolation of your denial, come and share your feelings with us. Try our group on for size. You have nothing to lose and potentially much to gain. We are here waiting for you when you need us.

Call (212) 757-1350 to arrange to speak to someone about First Break Awakenings Groups.