"Surely They Can't Mean Beer!"
Six years ago, at the age of 24, I was diagnosed with manic-depression. Learning to live with this mental illness has been extremely difficult. I have been in a series of different hospitals. After suffering a manic episode and being hospitalized, I would attempt to recover, but within 90 days or so I would end up in a hospital again. I never really had a fair chance of recovering from my manic-depression because I had been suffering from alcoholism, another illness, at the same time. The alcoholism wasn't being treated. After being discharged from hospitals I would resume drinking and then within a matter of a few months I would be back in another hospital having suffered another manic episode. It was strongly suggested to me when I was first diagnosed with manic depression that I should stop drinking. I remember my response clearly. "Surely they can't mean beer!"
My drinking escalated when I first joined a program known as Alcoholics Anonymous. During those years I was in complete denial of what alcohol was doing to the chemical make-up of my body. I drank in order to suppress the negative feelings of mania and depression. I had to live with double trouble and the more I drank the sicker I became. I simply refused to address my alcoholism problem because alcohol had become my best friend. Denial runs deep!
It took a family crisis where my parents told me they would no longer support me emotionally or financially if I ended up in the hospital and alcohol was involved. This scared me to the point where I called Alcoholics Anonymous and began attending AA meetings. It takes time but AA seems to be working for me. I have arrested my drinking problem through total abstinence. Now the medication I take has a chance to work the way it was intended. Stopping drinking alcohol is only part of the solution. For me, working with doctors who understand my manic depressive illness and getting the proper medication is the key to a successful recovery.
Now that I don't drink I am in touch with my true feelings and this has helped me to identify which medications work for me. When I was drinking it was next to impossible to tell if a medicine was working or not. Since I stopped drinking I haven't had to enter a hospital for treatment of my manic behavior. Not drinking, one day at a time is having a tremendously positive impact on my mental health. If you think you may have a drinking problem, and can't seem to stop it, seek help.
Total abstinence and the right medication to manage my manic depression is now allowing me to live a normal life style. Today I am engaged to a wonderful woman, and I have a great job. Some intelligent investments I made over the past five years have made me financially independent of my parents and any need for government benefits. I am actually beginning to plan a family of my own, including purchasing a home.