It finally came. The day we were all waiting for. The day my son Daniel had worked so hard for. It was the summer of 1998 that Danny was hospitalized with schizophrenia. It was the summer of 1998 that our whole world collapsed. It was impossible to think that Danny would return to college and complete his semester and receive a degree. I have to say with the miracles of medication, psychiatric help, friendship and love from his friends and family he was able to overcome the obstacles in his path and return to college and complete his studies and graduate with a Bachelor of Arts degree for the new millennium.
Daniel also made a milestone for my family as he was the first member of my immediate family to graduate college with a degree of any kind. The day of the graduation was June 30th, a very steamy hot day more like August. I was waiting for Ken Steele, publisher of New York City Voices and our close friend to arrive by car. Ken was very important and very helpful in Daniel's recovery. I was delighted to see him. I knew he would never miss this event. With him came two very nice people David Kaplan and Claire Berman. Daniel's mother Shula and his sister Sharon were on hand as was his aunt Florine and uncle Jack and his friends Reuben and Mark.
We were all proud watching Daniel marching along with his cap and gown on. As far as I was concerned it was the proudest day of my life. I was just bursting with pride watching my son smiling, feeling good about himself after all he had been through for the last two years. I thank God for the next generation of medications and research that has come along. I hope and pray that all people with mental health problems would be as fortunate as Daniel has been and receive the medication they need plus psychological help from clinicians, family and friends.
Daniel will go on as Managing Editor of New York City Voices. He will continue to hold Awakenings meetings for consumers and try to enlighten as many people as possible about his illness.
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Congratulations Son
By Shulamit Frey
Rushing out from home in the morning is the most difficult task for me to do. But for my son's college graduation nothing matters except to be with him. Full of excitement I found myself running to join my daughter and my children's aunt and uncle who were waiting impatiently to drive together to the Lehman College campus.
It was a bright sunny day on June 1st, 2000. Upon arrival we seated ourselves as close as we could to the platform of ceremony. I was astonished to discover thousands of other relatives arriving to celebrate and support their beloved graduates. Danny's father was there earlier that morning to make sure Ken Steele arrived safely. My spiritual sister Joan came stumbling on a cane. Her neurological condition would not stop her from cheering for our Danny.
As soon as the ceremony started with the National Anthem I started shivering despite the hot sun striking us over our heads. Overwhelmed with excitement my mind left campus and wandered to the summer of 1998 when Danny had his first episode of schizophrenia.
When I first heard from Danny's father that he was hospitalized I felt relief. As a psychiatric nurse I recognized that Danny was psychotic with paranoid delusions. He had a strange slow walk, poor ADL, his piercing stare, constant movement of his neck and the illogical rationalization when confronted that he needed therapy. When I held my son in a semi darkened room he held onto me saying: "Mom I'm scared!" I found myself embracing him with tears and saying: "Danny, your condition is ours too. We would never let you suffer alone." And so it was. Danny's father Jack, sister Sharon, and myself found ourselves even enjoying having family reunion during visiting hours.
The hardest, most agonizing mission to accomplish was to convince Danny that he had an illness that required a lifetime commitment and adherence to medications and therapy. Danny had two relapses due to his denial. When Jack's friend Pam saw Ken Steele on TV I knew right there and then that God listened to our prayers and introduced Ken Steele to our son.
The best role model was Ken who had experienced the same disease, its turmoil and overcame it with tremendous success. Danny joined Awakenings support groups with people who shared similar experiences with him and he gradually participated in the production of New York City Voices where he is now managing editor. Danny adheres to medication and psychotherapy. We finally got our loving, caring, beloved son and brother again. Yes, Danny's graduation day symbolized to us a successful return from a long journey.
As I once heard: "Success is measured not so much by the position that one has reached as by the obstacles that have been overcome." Yes son, you are our inspiring hero!
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My Brother Danny
By Sharon Frey
My brother Danny Frey had his first break about two years ago. Since then he takes a low dosage of Risperdal that has successfully seized the torturous voices and his temperament has changed from that of a very intense and serious one to now one of light-heartedness, determination, strength, flexibility and stability. He no longer holds so much inside. He comes to me with his problems and ideas about things and he carefully listens to my own. We have a delightful relationship and to his progress I am not only happy and proud, but grateful that I have my brother back in my life.
Long before Danny had received appropriate treatment, he seemed to be living in an isolated world of his own. It was especially painful to realize that he could not be reached, not by me nor by anybody. Furthermore, he was clearly suffering from highly intense levels of anxiety and the source of his pain I personally could not determine. Devastating it is when a loved one is hurting and there is nothing to be done to change his or her state of being. I knew this much however, that Danny was living with more than depression. This is because if he was depressed I could understand and empathize with him. I could have approached him in that gentle way that most of us appreciate when we're depressed or even severely depressed. But again there was something else going on inside of Danny that not only could I not relate to, but could not possibly comprehend. And this was perhaps the most painful experience of all in response to my brother's illness.
I'll never forget the night that Danny had grabbed me tightly and said, "Sharon you just don't share my world." What was his world like? I desperately needed to know. I remember times when I had attempted to hear voices, hallucinate, even torture myself with devastating thoughts, anything that could bring me into my brother's world. However, despite these urgent attempts to bridge the gap between us, the distance continued to grow with every new day. I was left feeling frustrated, confused and even angry with Danny's unusual ways. His behavior was not only strange, but frightening as his defiance of what I consider to be socially acceptable behavior had made me deeply uncomfortable. My brother was getting worse and I, his younger sister, shamefully lacked the power to do anything about it.
Fortunately, Danny found medical attention and with the help of my parents, Ken Steele, psychiatrists and others has managed to start anew as a diagnosed schizophrenic. Danny's achievements have far surpassed his stigmatized illness. He has repeatedly demonstrated that schizophrenics are not victims of schizophrenia, but a group of individuals whom, with the proper care and representation can become significant contributors to society and the world.
Shine on Danny, shine on!