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Many, many years ago, as I lay in my dormitory bed in a New York mental hospital, I dreamt of the day I would be able to control my anxiety attacks. At that moment I was going through one. It would take a long time to fulfill my vision, but that day would come.

Since childhood I have experienced at times great crippling anxiety. It has been something I have learned to live with. And you can too! At age eleven I lay in a cot choking. Many years later the same anxiety resurfaced in the form of bizarre, psychotic uncontrolled episodes. I suffered much but I have learned to outlive it.

I shall not go into further descriptions of my malady, except to bring to my readers that there is hope. To begin with there are antipsychotic medications on the market, which can help control these moods. I am not a doctor so please consult your therapist.

The main point is that although I still get these things, I control them through willpower. This factor is a very important aspect. I can actually laugh at it. I pretend that these feelings of great fear aren't there! With some diversion to occupy me such as reading or watching television, I forget about it. Another method of escape is of course to lie down and close your eyes, but you cannot always adhere to this method, since anxiety can strike at any time or place.

Another useful tool is to ask yourself why you are experiencing these feelings for self analysis also helps by reasoning the process out. Sometimes this can also help to alleviate the tension involved.

All right! So you can't get rid of it, but you can learn to deal with it. It is a part of the illness. Write your feelings down in a journal or write a poem about what you are going through when it happens. With time the condition can be conquered. Only thoughts or "cognitions" can result in feelings so try to think happy thoughts although I know this is easier said than done. Feelings of fear and confusion originate in the mind.

So go to it and above all hang in there! And good luck