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What impeded my progress and recovery the most was what now seems an insurmountable sense of denial. As my world fell apart I found myself desperately trying to single handedly collect the pieces and make everything all right. The signs were all there though; the persistent persecutory and paranoid thoughts, the auditory and visual hallucinations. Obviously, no single individual could handle all this by themselves.

However, trust was a major issue; whom could I go to with all of these strange and abnormal experiences? That's why peer support is so important to me. I was afraid and embarrassed by the idea that my mind could be vulnerable. I thought mental illness only for the mentally weak and fragile. I prided myself on my intellectual capabilities. Now I know that what we have: talents, skills, capabilities; they are all God-given gifts. And that God is to be given the highest priority in our lives. There is a scripture that states: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." - Philippians 4:13. I have come to know personally what it means to put your faith first and solely in Christ.

Now that I am at the end of my "wilderness" experience, a time of major crisis, I can testify to the goodness of God's grace and mercy. Sometimes He has to put major obstructions in our path to prevent us from going too far in the wrong direction. God has a plan for all of us. However many of us are spiritually disconnected and don't know our purpose or reason for being. You can tell if this is you if you suffer from an overwhelming sense of emptiness and aimlessness. Seek God!

The moment that I accepted Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Savior is the instant my new life began. I made a commitment to worship and serve Him. And He has placed me in a position to speak to many consumers about the spiritual void in their lives.

There are some of us who may feel that God has cursed us with a stigmatic disorder. But that is a victim's perspective. Struggle is meant to challenge and grow us. How else will we know what we're made of? You might ask, well what happens when we find out we're not so tough? That's when we must learn to call upon the Lord, which is what His whole reasoning was to begin with. There are still those of us who maybe looking for an easier way, but they miss the lesson. The rest of us come out victors!

Because I have Christ in my life, I have peace. I am not saying that I no longer have troubles, however doubt, worry or anxiety no longer consumes me. In my struggles I know that I will fair the storm because I have Christ's shoulder to lean on. I rejoice every day because it is one more opportunity to experience life to the fullest and be a witness to God's miracle of recovery!

Hallelujah!