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The newest psychiatric category, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), is hardly known to the lay world. Yet two of my friends have grown "children" with this affliction, which often occurs in people who are more attractive and intelligent than the ordinary. One friend, screamed at by her children, screamed right back. There has been no contact from him for a year-and all her loving overtures have been rebuffed. The other friend took a deep breath and followed the advice of her therapist, namely,

1) To stay in the present tense; no mention of resentment over the past, no matter how well justified this might be;

2) To realize that a symptom of BPD is an abrupt mind-change. If a patient, for example, swings from over-idealization of us to accusations of being totally evil, we must not take it personally;

3) To keep reassuring patients that no one, even those who appear "evil", is truly out to get them;

4) To show patients by word and deed that no matter how often they lose their temper or in other ways behave hurtfully, we will not abandon them. For it is surmised by professionals that a profound, pervasive terror of abandonment underlies the BPD patient's other symptoms.

It was not easy for the second friend to keep "turning the other cheek," nor was it pleasant for her to be accused by well-intentioned bystanders of thus being an "enabler." Yet, the net result is that the "child" has accepted medication and psychotherapy and is now a joy to be with. One swallow does not make a spring, but I am so impressed by the contrast between these two friends that I hope more people will inform themselves about BPD which is not so rare as one would wish. Indeed, we have several of Joseph's brothers in the Hebrew Scriptures, and the Prodigal son in the New Testament, to remind us that the problem is anything but a new one in the human family.