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My Depressions were never caused by any type of traumatic event or problems as a child. Believe me, I've had many traumatic experiences in my life. My child having a triple diagnosis has contributed to countless traumas. But not one of these traumatic experiences has ever thrown me into a depression. I've always been able to not only function during these times, but remain strong and handle whatever life throws my way. Also, I had an excellent childhood, with an exceptional mother and close siblings.

You see, my depressions always come unexpectedly, never precipitated by any traumatic or stressful situation. And the only things that have ever helped alleviate them have been either medication, ECT (Electro-Convulsive Therapy) or the depressive cycle just ending on its own.

With that in mind, I was very reluctant to return to "talk therapy" when my psychiatrist recommended it. To be honest with you, the main reason I took him up on his offer was that I was afraid that by refusing to do so might have a negative effect on my obtaining and keeping my disability benefits.

Well, the first therapist did nothing to change my opinion on the uselessness of therapy. He basically was what I would call a "Rah, Rah" type of guy, always saying things like "Stick with it. Things will get better," and "Just have faith that everything will be just fine (direct quotes by the way)." If all I needed was encouragement I had to go no further than my family and friends, and if I needed useless clichés, I could have just watched television.

I was hoping that by changing therapists I would have better success. In reality, the 2nd therapist was far worse than the first. She would tell me on many occasions that basically I would never get any better and that I would just have to learn to live with it. When my wife happened to hear this during a family session, I had to do all that I could to restrain her from attacking the therapist. Obviously, my opinion that therapists were of no use to me was stronger than ever, and I never wanted to see another one again.

Fortunately for me, however, my wife convinced me to give at least one more therapist a try. And, boy, am I glad I did! This therapist was unlike any other I had ever encountered. She didn't sugarcoat the situation like the first therapist, nor did she ever say that the situation was hopeless, like the 2nd therapist. What she did say, and do, was to focus our sessions on how I could best treat myself well, whether I was going through a depressive period or not. In other words, we worked a lot on me taking care of me. I'm now going to give you just a few of the many examples of how WE accomplished this (note: I say WE because she always emphasizes that we are working as a team).

My therapist often endorses me for the good things I do, even if they may seem trivial to others. Even in times of deepest depression, she would point out the fact, for example, that I was able to get out of bed some mornings and she always acknowledged the fact of how I was battling the depression. This was very important because, unlike with family and friends, when my therapist said this, I was 100% sure she meant it.

During one of my deepest depressions I started cutting myself, something I had never done before. I was at a total loss as to why I would take a blade to myself, sometimes up to 70 times a day, and cause self-injury. It was only through talking with the therapist that I was able to figure out why I did the cutting. Once I figured out why I did it, I was able to see much more clearly why it didn't help. Thanks to my talks with the therapist, the cutting has subsided almost completely.

Another example is that it was my therapist who first got me going to mutual support groups. She was the one who told me that, although our sessions were going great and WE were making tremendous strides, it would be even more beneficial for me to additionally go to groups with other mental health consumers. And was she ever right about that one! I have met so many people who have gone through similar battles with mental illness like myself and have formed some very close friendships. Without her mentioning these groups and advising me to go, I would have never had thought of going on my own.

One last example, I had gained over 45 pounds in 1984 while taking the drug Lithium. From then until 1999 I had never lost the weight, even though I had stopped taking the drug for years. It was my therapist who advised me to try to exercise, eat better, and get enough sleep every night. She suggested it not only because it would help me lose weight, but also explained that since my depression was physical in nature, I might be able to fight it better if I was in good physical condition. And I must say, since I've been eating healthier, doing a lot of walking and getting at least 7 hours of sleep a night, there has been a tremendous improvement. I still get depressions, but since I've been taking care of myself physically, the length of time for these depressions to pass has been greatly reduced.

I could give you many more examples of how my therapist has helped me, (for example, helping me to cope when my son goes through a period of mania), but space forbids me. So, if anyone else out there is suffering from a chemical psychiatric disorder, but feels that therapy cannot be of any use, I urge you to try seeing a therapist, and if you don't think he or she is helping you, see another and another until you find one that is of help.