Finding Your Own Way
(Column: Gay/Straight Human)
Exploring the LGBT community and finding friends
Christian Huygen, M.A., Director, Rainbow Heights Club
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Some people come to New York City for the bustling pace, the diversity, the glamour and the excitement. Some come here for the pizza. And some come here to join one of the most vibrant and diverse lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender communities in the world.

Are you ready to do some exploring? The LGBT Community Center is a fantastic place to start. It's at 208 West 13th Street, between Seventh and Eighth Avenues in Manhattan and it's open from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. every day (www.gaycenter.org; 212-620-7310). Walk in, say hello, pick up the monthly Center Happenings events and meeting listing, and be amazed by the hundreds of different groups that meet there every week. You'll probably find one or more clubs, groups or meetings that appeal to you. The Center hosts everything from 12-step groups to political and social groups. It's easy and fun to get to know people who share some of your interests and values. The common ground you already share makes it easier to strike up conversations and become friends.

While you're at the Center, why not join a meeting of the Zappalorti Society, a support group for LGBT mental health consumers at the Center each Saturday from 2 to 4 p.m? You can also visit Rainbow Heights Club (718-852-2584), located in downtown Brooklyn. These two organizations are just for LGBT mental health consumers. Talking about the challenges of living with your sexuality and mental illness is a lot easier when you have a sympathetic audience on your side.

So go ahead and take a look around. Listen to yourself—your mind, your gut feelings and your heart. Do you feel a little bit more like yourself as you explore the community and listen to your own thoughts and feelings? I hope so. Are there places in the LGBT community where you feel a little bit at home? Do you also feel a little lost and confused? That's OK—it happens to everybody sometimes.

Keep a journal, and let yourself write down whatever thoughts and feelings come into your head. Talk things over with your therapist, and with people in your support groups. And remember: whether you're straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, you're still lots of other things too.

Many people exploring the LGBT community for the first time feel anxious about whether or not they'll find somebody they can have a relationship with. It might be more helpful to relax and just try to make a couple of new friends. Friends provide us with a supportive ear, and the sense that someone likes us and appreciates our company. If you think back over your life, you may find that relationships come and go, but friendships often last for years. They give us support and stability, which are things that everybody needs.

Relax, take a deep breath, and enjoy finding your own way in New York's wonderful LGBT community.
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