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Mental health consumers have the same needs we all have, but often have a more difficult time getting those needs met. Professionals and families who support consumers now recognize the crucial role companionship plays in recovery. But, just how do you go about finding suitable companionship for individuals who have been isolated by profound illness? Answer: a new version of the old matchmaker, the friendship-maker.

More than thirteen years ago, inspired by the loneliness of a family member, Alice Cohen realized that most consumers had few relationships beyond their doctors and mental health workers with whom they had infrequent contact. Perhaps there were a few other consumers with whom they lived, but meeting others and expanding their possibilities was unexplored and even unavailable territory. So she founded the Friendship Network to address that need. Similar in some ways to a dating service, we take in-depth applications that include age, interests, level of education, etc. We conduct both telephone and face-to-face interviews to get a better sense of each individual's unique needs and qualities. Then we go about matching, following up with support and advice as needed. Each individual's therapist must approve the appropriateness of the Friendship Network for him/her.

Being able to pick up a phone to call a friend and chat, or having someone who, on the spur of the moment, will go to the movies with you without making it a big deal are the little comfort things in life that most of us take for granted. Not so for the people who wish to become members of the Network.

The Friendship Network facilitates the ability to make connections with others and develop a more fulfilling life. Some members have never had the chance to acquire social skills and graces and never experienced the forming and flourishing of mature relationships. They spent their critical maturing years segregated as wards of the mental health system.

Our members experience great joy and satisfaction when it dawns on them that they can be good at relating; that they can find someone with whom they can share their feelings, and be special.

Nothing makes us happier than when one of our members calls to say he or she no longer needs our service and is able to find and maintain relationships without us.

When "Cliff" became ill, he was unable to walk more than five blocks away from his house. For ten years he went nowhere. His family found him a prominent doctor, but merely getting to the office for appointments seemed an impossible hurdle, especially because he would have to travel there by train. Convinced that the doctor could help him, "Cliff" used the subway, though he continued to be paralyzed with fear on each trip. At about that time, "Cliff" became one of our members and we set up an introduction for him. He spent a month contacting "Tina" on the phone until he had the courage to meet her face-to-face. By design, the meeting was planned in close proximity to the doctor's office. They lunched and talked for three hours, and had a wonderful time. Then, without hesitation, "Cliff" took off for the doctor's appointment.

Arriving at the doctor's office emotionally drained from the anxiety he had experienced, he was also on a high because he had met someone with whom he had a wonderful time. Upon his arrival home, he couldn't wait to call us and fill us in. It was one of the happiest days of his life. "Tina" reported the same feelings and we felt very special.

"Iris" and "Jane" have been friends for quite some time through us. They cannot work, and so their only contact with the world is through the friendships they have made via the Network. They used to speak on the phone three or four times a day. They had so much to share. Because of the expense, they've had to reduce the calls to four a week. Recently, "Iris's" father passed away. The pain of the loss was horrible for her. He was her only remaining family connection. But she had "Jane" with whom she could share her feelings comfortably.

Recently, some of our members have come to work for us on a volunteer basis. Because of the spirit that pervades the Network, it seemed more like a party. We needed help with a rather large bulk mailing and four or five men and women came to assist, one with a guitar. They worked, sang, stuffed envelopes and laughed a lot. It was a wonderful time. This camaraderie is a learning experience that will be helpful in future employment. After all, one can have the ability to handle a job, but must have the ability to work alongside colleagues as well.

We know we are onto something very important, and even precious. We see it on the faces of our members, in their smiles and tears.

This column has been an introduction to the workings and accomplishments of the Friendship Network. Over the course of time, social situations arise which need clarification and require advice. It is difficult to be helpful at times without embarrassing or hurting the consumer. Therefore, future columns will cover composites of these situations in the format of a "Dear Abby" column. These are problems that have occurred several times to several members in a variety of situations. Hopefully, you will read these tidbits and benefit from applying them to yourselves.