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Little is more stressful to one's mental health than a bitter separation and divorce especially when you are a child. Divorce is worse than a death in the family because both parents go on living, and the bad feelings continue for life, as both spouses keep the divorce alive. Visitation puts a child into two opposing camps. Duel loyalties to bitter enemies tear the child apart. A child learns how to censor himself to fit into each parent's world.

Children (and grandchildren) are hard fought over by both parents who battle for their young hearts and minds. The anger, the charged atmosphere of hatred and conflict, the bitterness and jealousy, the financial insecurity and general anxiety, the depression and grieving are toxic to a family's mental health. All of this stress can trigger a psychotic break, or a major depressive episode in a child with an underlying mental illness. My parents were separated when I was 13 and divorced when I was 20. The divorce hit me hard when I was in my senior year in college. As a result of anxiety and stress from the divorce, I had a major depressive episode for which I was treated for a year at the Student Health Center, and which severely impacted my academic work.

I somehow managed to read all of the course material and attend classes, finishing almost all of my written work, except for final papers in three literature classes. But at the end of both senior semesters, I could no longer read, think, write, concentrate, or cope. I lost my appetite and had trouble sleeping. I was withdrawn, had no energy, and suffered suicidal thoughts.

Senior year, I remember my sadness when I used to take my meal trays to my room where I would eat alone apart from the exuberant students of my dormitory. Before this first depression, I had been a sunny and congenial person. All of my life, I have had a handful of good friends. Throughout my school years, I had always been well-liked by my teachers, because I was a much awarded honor student.

During my senior year, I received nine months of therapy, but I probably should have been hospitalized and on meds because I was acutely ill. My neighbor found me at the beginning of the Fall semester crumpled on the floor of my dorm room sobbing, and told me about the Student Health Center with therapists specializing in children of divorce. Divorce was then just becoming a social phenomenon on campuses, on its way to becoming the epidemic that it is today in this country. All of my friends were from divorced academic families like mine, and all were in therapy at the Student Health Center. During my first therapy sessions I was unable to speak and merely sat quietly crying in my therapist's office.

It was unfortunate for me that our faculty were generally not well-informed about the seriousness of mental illness. One of my professors gave me an extension, which enabled me to finish her course well, but two professors blamed me for my difficulties in completing three of my final papers. They did not believe that I was ill. If they had shown more compassion, it might have helped me to better finish my work.

Senior year is stressful enough as students are finishing their college educations and looking for their first jobs. Throw mental illness in and the stress of a bitter divorce, and you have a recipe for disaster. Mental health professionals can make a real difference in the outcomes of the children of divorce. Professors who are sensitive to the health concerns of their students also play an important role in whether students can complete their course programs well and go on to lead productive lives.