Email | Print

I was born in Brooklyn of Puerto Rican parents. My parents came to New York from the island of Puerto Rico in 1927. My mother was from the small town of Juncos in the south. My father was from the town of Loiza Aldea in the north. They taught me and my siblings to speak our native language, Spanish, and they always taught us to be aware of our roots. I have visited the island many times.

Around 1955, I had my first experience with mental illness. I suffered from depression and didn't know why. Maybe one of the reasons was that I grew up in a home where my father was violent. He would physically abuse my mother. Witnessing this affected me negatively and contributed to my depression. But at that time I was not taking any medications nor was I seeing any therapists or doctors.

The year when I really lost control was 1968 when I experienced psychosis, depression and I also attempted suicide after seeing my father beat up my mother. I was hospitalized for a short time and began taking medications.

My family was ambivalent about my illness. My father really didn't care what happened to me, even when I was in the hospital. My mother did care but she was afraid to admit that I had a problem. I think she just thought that whatever it was, it was my own personal problem and not something to talk about much. There is a huge stigma when people find out that you have an emotional problem.

I think that the stigma about mental illness is stronger in the Latino and African-American communities, but I really don't know the reasons for this. Maybe it's the culture.

I have been doing very well in my recovery since 1985. I still take medications, but I haven't needed to be in a hospital again. For this I am very grateful to my therapist, Ella Cruise. She helped me to recover and she was always very dedicated to my wellness. She helped me to get on the right track. I also must say that my mother's love helped me a lot. Today, I am happily involved in several things at the Baltic Street Center in Brooklyn. I am an artist. I am a singer and I love music. I helped to create the Baltic Street Band. I like to sing with the band very much. I am also a painter and have created many works of art that have been shown in many exhibitions in the City. Recently, I have become the facilitator of a drama group. I am also the president of the Baltic Street Food Cooperative. All of these activities have greatly helped me in my recovery. I've been coming to Baltic Street since 1968.

The things I've done to have good mental health are self-help groups, medications, trusting and listening to my therapist, and becoming involved in the things that are dear to me like music and art.

I am also very proud of my Puerto Rican heritage. I am aware that many Latinos in New York experience a sense of isolation, but in my case I think that because I was born and raised in Brooklyn, I have learned the "ways of the city" and have coped with it fairly well.

When I am asked how I would encourage others in their recovery, I say: "You have to learn to help yourself and you have to have the will to want to get where you want to go."