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This column is about finding your own way in making decisions about your sexuality. Sometimes we have different feelings for different kinds of people. It's OK to just notice this and accept it.

So, OK, maybe you're gay or lesbian or bisexual or transgender or even straight or maybe you're just human. Now what are you supposed to do with that information?

I'll tell you a secret. Everyone—gay people, straight people, everybody—is convinced that just about everyone else is having sex all the time. And most people imagine that gay people are having more sex than anybody else. This can lead you to conclude that if you're gay, you're supposed to be having sex, and that you're some kind of failure if you're not.

This is not true. It's just a dumb stereotype. Just like anybody else, some gay people are very interested in sex. And some aren't or are hardly interested in it at all. This is normal and human. The main thing is to accept yourself just as you are.

Relationships are confusing for everybody. Yes, I mean everybody. But they can be especially confusing for people who are in a sexual minority, and for people who are living with a mental illness. If you have both, you've got a double whammy to deal with.

So give yourself a break! Take your time. If getting close to another person makes you feel anxious and confused, maybe it just isn't for you yet. That's fine! There is a lot of wisdom in taking the time to find out what does and doesn't make you feel good.

You deserve to feel good. If you are doing something that makes you feel bad, stop doing it (if you are doing something that makes somebody else feel bad, stop doing that to).

There are good reasons and bad reasons to have sex with somebody. Having sex because you feel like you're supposed to is a bad reason. Don't feel pressured to have sex just because you think you might be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or just plain human. You don't have to prove anything, to yourself or anybody else.

Some people have relationships with other people. Others don't. Some people decide they don't want to have a relationship, because it's too confusing, or it makes their symptoms worse, or they've had painful experiences with relationships in the past. Other people feel that they might like to have a relationship, but they're not quite sure how to go about it. Still other people do have relationships.

You do not have to have sex with anybody. And you don't have to have a relationship with anybody. A good relationship (sexual or otherwise) can be a big asset to your mental, emotional and physical health. A bad relationship can be just the opposite. Relationships are very challenging for everybody. So take your time in finding your own way.