The following is taken from an interview with Kim Strouse, Director of Rita Project ("Rita" is Sanskrit for "Truth"), which is designed to give survivors of suicide-whether they be consumers, family members or friends-a space to express their feelings through the creation of art. Rita Project has a studio in New York City, seeKS to expand around the country and conducts worKShops at middle and high schools.
Voices: What is suicide?
Kim Strouse: Suicide is when you take your own life. It is a self-destructive act…let me think here…I think that's enough.
Voices: Why do people do it?
KS: People commit suicide because they want to end their own pain. I think they identify with their pain instead of knowing that they are bigger than their pain. Each moment is different and each moment is another opportunity to embrace yourself, to live to take another breath. [To help prevent suicide]…you can see your doctor, take medication, and exercise, whether it's yoga or running or another activity. There's also eating well. The medication is not going to do all the work, you have to work with yourself and have patience with yourself. Draw upon the support system you have in place and ask for help because your life is precious.
Voices: Why did you create Rita Project?
KS: Rita Project came out of a need. When my sister died [from suicide], I felt scared, isolated, confused. I was suddenly living in a new world. Things tasted differently. My self-talk was different. My whole sense of reality had changed. I was longing to be in a creative environment with others who shared similar experiences. I discovered that this environment did not exist, so I started Rita Project.
My vision is to have art studios in every city across the country and world. It will be a place for survivors of suicide to work through the tragedy of a suicide and begin to heal. I was interested in how the tragedy of a suicide affects one's creativity. The work that is created and the stories that are heard in the studios reveals how creativity is shaped by suicide. Also, my [late] sister and I always had a dream of having a space where we could create together, be wild, write on the walls and paint them yellow if we want to. I also want to carry that vision and give people a space in which to explore their feelings.
Voices: What do you want to achieve?
KS: I also feel that Rita Project is honoring Kristen's spirit in life. It came out of my own need, but I also feel Rita Project is fulfilling [the] need of others. There is such silence around suicide…there needs to be cultivated a creative conversation. My wish is that when we have exhibitions of the worKS created in the studios, it will create a conversation and essentially soften the stigma surrounding suicide.
Voices: Those are all important reasons to create Rita Project.
KS: Suicide is a loss of compassion and patience for yourself. I think chemistry is a powerful thing and illness is a powerful thing. But I also feel that we have a body, we have a life and we should try to honor that. [Kristen's] death has given me many things and among them is Rita Project, but [this project] will never take away the pain of losing my sister and never make it okay. But it's something that I know is needed in the world.
Voices: How do you personally deal with the spiritual, emotional, and mental aftermath of suicide?
KS: I try very hard to explore the workings of the spirit and I see a psychiatrist. He is an amazing man and is not only wise with medicine, but with psychotherapy as well. So I see him once a week and we have worked together for years. I also see an art therapist because I also believe in the power and subtle effects of creation. I try to practice Ashtanga yoga four to five times per week. And I practice in the morning because I come first. I try my best to eat balanced meals, take vitamins and my medication. I also read a lot about my [bipolar type 2] illness and other people's struggle with this. I believe you must be open to learn about yourself. I also journal and track my moods.
Basically, I try to investigate myself as much as possible and that helps me understand the human condition. I believe in spirit. I also practice meditation, which helps to quiet the mind. I practice all these things, but I'm not perfect, I'm only human and it's a struggle. But I know that I have to practice all of these things in order to take care of myself. I don't think it's just a clinical condition. I try to see my moods and my nervous system as a teacher essentially. I need to accept the moods and chemistry because, if I don't, it's a fight and a struggle.
Voices: How important is it to track how you feel from moment to moment?
KS: I listen and have compassion for [myself] and trust that each moment can change. I also trust that this moment will pass because I know in tracking that it will pass.
Voices: Does it ever feel that the moment will last forever?
KS: Sure and then there's also when I'm stable and think, "I'm not bipolar anymore" because I'm stable. But soon enough my system will remind me that I am bipolar. It's important to know your triggers and be open to learning new triggers.
Voices: Do you know many people who have been touched by suicide?
KS: Everyone I know has been touched in some way, but not everyone can relate to the pain of losing a sister to suicide. I do have a very dear friend who lost her brother to suicide and we are kindred spirits. There's something between survivors-immediately there is a connection, a certain knowing.
Voices: Who can participate in Rita Project? Where is it?
KS: There are two parts to Rita Project. There's the Studio in New York City and all survivors of suicide can come to that-whether you've lost someone to suicide or whether you've attempted suicide. You can be a child or you can be a grandparent. It's a really diverse crowd. I don't believe in any more isolation or separation. We all need to work through these things together, support and learn from one another.
The next cycle is October 2-November 6, from 12-2 p.m. at Greenwich House Pottery in the West Village. The following cycle after that is January 8-February 12. And you can register by calling 866-775-RITA. The other part of Rita Project is the WorKShops that we provide to middle and high school students. Creating is one example of a positive coping skill. It's an alternative experiential worKShop. We're working on a curriculum for the worKShop that's basically a suicide prevention/education piece and we are tailoring it both to the faculty and student body.
Voices: What activities do Rita Project participants engage in at the Studio and at the WorKShops?
KS: The participants' energy really dictates the session. All sorts of supplies are present and participants are also encouraged to bring supplies from home. What we have there is paint, charcoal, crayons, markers, collage materials from magazines, and other things like yarn, Polaroid cameras, fabric, clay. The space welcomes you to really get messy and explore. Any of the Studio materials can be brought to the WorKShops in the classrooms. There's a Directive if people need it.
Voices: What is an example of a Directive? Is it like an art lesson?
KS: Let's say you have a box and on the inside you put your feelings that you do not show the world and on the outside you put your feelings that you do show the world. That's one example of a Directive. Another could be broad like, "We're going to work on a collage and let's use some of the feelings that you're feeling today." But people are very free to do their own thing. You may bring your computer and write if you want. You can do something other than the Directive, but can use it for inspiration.
Voices: How do you maintain the safety of participants?
KS: There are always two people in the room (an art therapist and a student assistant) in case someone needs to have personal assistance and attention. At Greenwich House Pottery there are always people around. It's not a lonely, empty space.
Voices: Final words?
KS: We are in need of sponsors and volunteers.
Voices: What can a sponsor do for you?
KS: Give money. Non-profits always need money. Support-whether it's art supplies….
Voices: What would you do with money from a big grant?
KS: The money would go to PR (Public Relations) advertising-getting the word out. It's most important to me that survivors of suicide everywhere know that there is a place to go with their feelings and create. Once the word's out, we've got to have a place for people to go, so [the money] would go toward helping the Studio run.