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Well here goes—a composite of problems several people have encountered and new ways to think about them and/or new ways to handle them. All of these problems have arisen in the Friendship Network. We hope you can benefit from this.

Dear Berna,
Every so often, I make plans and then at the last minute, the person cancels. Unfortunately, I always think the person doesn't really want to meet me and he/she is just making an excuse. How can I tell if the excuse is legitimate?
Signed: Loser

Dear Loser,
I'm sure you're not a loser. Most of us experience times when we do not feel as well as we'd like and would be unable to put our best foot forward. Always give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Do not take it personally. He/she might just be telling you the truth. Sometimes people have 'panic attacks' at the last minute. Try to be as understanding towards the next person as you would want him to be towards you.

Dear Berna,
Recently, I met a very nice person but there was a major problem. The person had terrible body odor. I didn't know how to tell him without being offensive. Sometimes, especially in the summer heat, the odor was very oppressive. How do you suggest I handle this?
Signed: Friend of Smelly

Dear Smelly's Friend,
This can be a very troublesome situation. Many people are unaware of their body odor, some think it doesn't matter and others don't care (even though they should). One of the most often misunderstood issues is that of body odor. Sometimes the person does bathe but either doesn't put on deodorant or else puts on clothing that hasn't been washed or cleaned and the odor is imbedded in the clothing. All of you, read this carefully and see if the shoe fits. This problem is very difficult to discuss with anyone. It is a problem which you are capable of remedying yourselves. It could make a big difference in your social life.

If you have followed through on the bathing and clean clothes and there is still a problem, see your doctor. Perhaps it's something physical that the physician can remedy. Another point I'd like to make about this situation.....many years ago, I interviewed someone for a job. This person was extremely well-dressed and was the most capable of doing the job. I didn't hire him because he smelled and I felt awful.