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I am a 45-year-old woman who has schizophrenia and a mood disorder. I have been on all kinds of medication to control the voices and music that plays in my head. They did work to control the voices pretty well, but it also turned me into a zombie who had no real feelings. I could not laugh or smile, I could not carry on a decent conversation and I just did not care about myself or anyone else very much.

Growing up I experienced all sorts of terrible perceptions and bizarre behavior that only I really remember because no one else seemed to see it. No one else could hear the voices going on inside my head. I survived somehow.

In my mid-thirties, I was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia in a hospital because I had a psychotic break. Everyone seemed to think this was the first time I had experienced anything like this, but they were very wrong. This was the worst for sure, but I had these same paranoid feelings long before this hospitalization.

I have been on Clozaril for about 15 years and it has been terrible. I felt so tired and sleepy all the time and had no motivation or feelings. It caused me to gain 240 pounds! I became diabetic. I was really like a zombie. My family just prayed for me. I felt like a real burden on them even though I was living on my own.

I have had the same doctor for 11 years who took the chance of taking me off the Clozaril and put me on a newer drug called Abilify. Wow! What a change it has made. I feel great. I've lost 73 pounds in about five months and 103 inches all over.

I get up every morning, shower, put on make-up and dress nicely even if I'm staying at home. I've been disabled for about 20 years or more and I'm now planning to go back to school so that I can work in the mental health field. I have more motivation than I've ever had in my life. I get up every day with the attitude that I'm going to make it a good day. Not just though positive thinking though, I know I have to make it happen! It's up to me to do the job. I cannot depend on anyone else to make my life more pleasant—that's my job. Life is good to those who persist in excellence.

I am not one bit embarrassed about having schizophrenia. In fact, I tell everyone who will listen because if I don't tell them that I'm an okay person they will forever believe we are misfits or worse.

I am not crazy. I have a brain disorder that causes me to hear voices and even music! It drove me crazy at night when I tried to sleep and I'm sure it scared other people, but I survived it! It can get better. You just have to be persistent in finding a medication that works best for you.

I finally have hope for a bright future. I also want to add that some of my family have said that my experience on the Abilify reminds them of the movie Awakenings. People are always coming up to me in church and on the street amazed of the changes in me. Some people say it's like having the old Kim back, but I can tell you that this is a new Kim.

I do not have the paranoia I suffered through growing up and I do not experience any voices or bizarre behavior anymore. Believe me when I say that I am brand new inside and out!

I owe my life to my doctor and the inventors of Abilify. Again, I am not ashamed of having schizophrenia and a mood disorder and feel that the more we become advocates and stand up to the stigma we will win this battle.