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Without a holistic healing identity, you heighten the risk of falling victim to the expedience of eradicating a problem and being left with the feeling that you are less than whole. Many surmise that if they are defined by their disease, diagnosis or problem; when they eradicate the disease or problem they do likewise to their identity. They stand passively in the corner fearfully observing, but not participating in their care, and as a result cannot mobilize the necessary power to resume normal functioning as a whole person. The sensation is almost as if, just as respiration and elimination are taken over mechanically during surgery, thinking is happening outside of the body. In other words, someone else is doing the thinking for them. Often thinking is thought of as a role for the physician or caregiver and the patient is seen as a bothersome intruder. Look at how pre-admission testing, consultation and post operative exams are done. The criteria for how ones condition is assessed has little to do with feeling good or feeling better. One can be monitored for fever, infection, blood pressure, breathing, heart and gastrointestinal functioning, but how would the healthcare provider know if he or she is discharging or admitting a depressed, suicidal or despondent patient. Would they even care based on the narrowly defined criteria of patient care and prescribed outcomes? For example, the symptoms of depression look different for each patient. One patient is perky and eats well so as not to arouse suspicion about any inner turmoil because part of their dysfunction is over nurturing and engaging in dangerously high levels of people-pleasing. Another sleeps for long periods, and another is wakeful. Some report a lot of pain and want medication. Because each person may have a different set of symptoms, it doesn’t help to generalize. Normal temperature, blood pressure and bowel sounds will not give a clue about a patient’s emotional state or sense of wellness during treatment or recovery. This area absolutely must be managed by the healthcare professional in partnership with the patient who will have a holistic picture of how they are doing. It is very important to be fully and actively engaged in developing methods for moving along a path to healing and recovery.

As hard as it may be, you must adopt a habit of inquisitiveness about your health and the assessments that others make regarding it. Simply put, ask questions. Ask for things to be repeated until you get it. At the risk of seeming dull-witted, your aim is to slow down the visit to allow you to have enough time to frame questions and get responses. Often, life and death decisions are made in a matter of minutes, leaving some feeling that they were knifed in an alley, rather than feeling that they were actively involved in a decision-making process that has the potential to produce a long-term result.

This new habit will require the courage of a first try, as well as repeated practice. For example, when you enter the examining room, ask the doctor how he or she is feeling and then proceed to ask about the assessment of medical information. In addition to slowing down the visit, this technique will help to balance your sense of power and control, giving you a role in the exchange. They will be asking you for very personal and intimate information. At the very least, you should have the right to ask how they are feeling, perhaps even if they slept well and if they had any problems getting to the office. It is imperative that you engage your healthcare provider on a human level, to activate their full range of helping capabilities. So often, patients feel that they get robotic, rapid fire responses from doctors and technicians who seem to lack sensitivity. In all fairness to these individuals, it is extremely difficult to maintain a consistently high level of care and concern when they see so many patients for whom they must manage so many health-related details. This is yet another reason to be actively involved with your healthcare provider as a partner who can help, so the management of details is not the sole responsibility of the healthcare professional. Two sets of eyes and two problem-solvers have to be better than one.

Be prepared that the practice of asking questions will be challenging and require approaches that are compatible with your personal style and personality. In that sense, your questions should have authenticity and purpose. You should avoid asking questions in order to be manipulative or hostile. The goal is to engage your healthcare providers as members of your team, not irritate them or heighten stress. If writing down questions to ask your doctor works for you, use that technique. If you are too nervous to manage a list of questions and stay focused on responses during office visits, develop the habit of leaving a voicemail message for the physician or other healthcare provider with one or two questions that you would like answered during an upcoming appointment. Another approach is to write a brief letter or note to highlight particular concerns or problems. Be sure to clarify your concerns in such a way that they can be responded to. Remember that healthcare providers cannot read minds or guess what the problem is. Patients are members of the team, in fact, they are the team captains. Somehow patients have become accustomed to assuming the role of passive subject, silent partner, minor player, person sitting on the bench or sidelines despite the fact that they have a critical role in determining the action steps; treatment regimen, and effectiveness of key treatment decisions, as well as recovery plans. Many feel victimized as a result of a limited perception of their role and a victim mentality does not support healing, wellness and recovery.

Focus on your best thinking about your health issue and make a plan of action. This will help to ensure that you don’t sink into a depressed state or become a passive victim. Check out referrals, look into payment requirements, and make appointments. Take time after appointments to reflect and recover. You can take a walk, sit in the park writing in your journal; call a friend or close family member; go to lunch, a movie or the gym. The experiences of doctor visits and tests need to be processed carefully to avoid mounting fear and worry which will dull your ability to rebound from health challenges. Taking an active role in your healing will help you to see yourself as an empowered person choosing the medicine that will work for you.