I have a good job with a good salary and excellent medical benefits. I also have savings in the bank. Of course it’s easy for me to say, “Don’t give up!”
My point is that I am only at this level in my recovery and my life because I did not give up. And there were at least four times I could have.
The first time was when I went through my major depression in 1998-1999. Although I felt constantly depressed and suicidal, could barely get out of bed, let alone function, I did not give up on seeking treatment. Although constantly feeling like crap, I did my best to show up at almost all my appointments with my psychiatrist and therapist. If I would have given up and stopped seeing them altogether, I might still be depressed today or worse. It was only by continuing to see my psychiatrist and therapist that I finally found a treatment which helped me on the road to recovery.
The second time I could have given up was the period after my depression when I started to feel better. Prior to my major depression I had been in the work force for 18 straight years. After my depression, however, I couldn’t find a job anywhere. I had no motivation and no confidence being out of the job market for about 18 months. Resume after resume went rejected or unanswered. The first interviews I went on were disasters.
My wife suggested that I try volunteering. At first I said “No way! I have always gotten paid for my work.” After a few more months of absolutely no job offers, I could have just given up and sat home, collecting SSD checks for the rest of my life. Eventually I decided to give volunteering a try. It ended up being the best decision I could have made at that time. Volunteering got me reconnected to the outside world. I felt for the first time in years that I had a purpose in life. My confidence level soared.
After a few months of volunteering, I decided it was time for me to go back to paid work. Hundreds of resumes, faxes, phone calls and emails still proved fruitless. I could not get a job in my former career field of Mortgage Banking because of the large gap in employment caused by my illness, and I was constantly told I was overqualified for most of the other jobs I applied for.
This was the 3rd time I had an option to quit, but refused to take it. I decided instead to take the bull by the horns. I went to school and became a Certified Home Health Aide. Armed with the certificate it was fairly easy to find employment. Sure, the pay was much lower then I was making just a few years earlier, but at least I was working again, and taking care of my patients gave me a feeling of pride and satisfaction I never had in all my years of Mortgage Banking.
About six months ago I decided to try and pursue a career in the mental health field, and also garner a salary equivalent to what I received before my illness. I knew the odds were small. After the first two rounds of sending out resumes with no results, I thought of giving up and remaining a Home Health Aide. But once again (for the 4th time) I decided to keep at it. Not only did I get positive responses from places that had rejected me earlier, but I actually got four job offers within a two-week period; two from mental health agencies and two from hospitals.
The moral of this story is that although it took me six full years to get from my major depression to where I am today, it would have never happened if I quit during any of the four occasions in which I had that option.