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I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder twelve years ago. Like many people newly welcomed into the world of mental illness, I came into it kicking and screaming. The idea that I would have to take medication every day for the rest of my life was intolerable. I had to come up with a brand new definition of normal to be able to accept myself. For a long time I was unable to accept the realities of having a mental illness; I had a number of relapses before I ended up Holliswood Hospital’s Partial Hospitalization Program. I’ve been in similar programs but this one is special. The doctors and psychology interns, who run the program, are wonderful. The Coordinator of the program, Mark Lazarus, is by far the most caring doctor that I have ever had the pleasure of working with. In the program, which is Monday through Friday, four hours a day, you are taught many tools that are needed to survive mental illness. I learned coping skills, relaxation techniques, problem solving skills, stress management, anger management, and of course relapse-prevention strategies. These various techniques have helped me tremendously in my daily life. The hardest part is being able to implement these techniques into my life; I have become better at this over time but it can still be a struggle.

I graduated from the program in April and since then I have spoken at the hospital three times. I have also become a consumer advocate, something I enjoy very much; I also plan on starting my own support group dealing with depression in the fall. I feel as though I have a purpose in life; as long as I can teach others to help themselves I’ll always feel happier about myself. When I am making a difference in someone else’s life they are simultaneously making a difference in my life. My purpose keeps me going, on those dark days that I still have, because I know that tomorrow has the potential of being better than the day before. I truly believe that experience is the best teacher in life. In my opinion it is impossible to accept ourselves unless we are open to guidance from other people with experience. Acceptance only happens when we are ready and the time is right in our lives. We have to be ready to accept acceptance.