The debate has gone on for years as to exactly how much, if any, of a mental-health history you should disclose to people you work with, family and friends, and even romantic interests.
To be honest, both sides have very valid points. As far as work situations go, some people claim that you shouldn’t disclose under any circumstances. They say that legally you have no obligation to divulge this private information, and it could actually be a negative determining factor when it comes time for any possible raises or promotions. Others say it is good to disclose if you have bosses you can trust who will not hold it against you. They also theorize that it is best to be honest and forthright from the beginning, because if you have any setbacks in the future, your supervisor will be more understanding knowing this information beforehand.
In my situations with employers, I have used both tactics. When I worked as a Home Health Aide I definitely did not disclose at first, knowing that if my employer was uneducated on mental-health issues they would probably never hire a person with major depression and a history of ECT treatments to take care of patients. On the other hand, when I had a job interview for a mental-health agency, I fully disclosed everything. I was able to use this as a plus, pointing out that not only would they be hiring me for the position I was applying for, but they would also be gaining a Peer Advocate into the bargain.
As far as family and friends are concerned, again, both sides have valid points. Some people say you should not disclose any of your past mental-health history to them because this would serve no other purpose than needlessly to frighten and worry them, especially if they were uneducated on mental-health issues. Some people have even reported losing friends and loved ones because of disclosing. Others say that by disclosing your mental-health experiences you actually become closer to friends and family, as they feel honored that you would confide such personal information in them.
I myself decided to disclose to all my family and friends, but with mixed results. While most of my friends and family actually appreciated the fact that I trusted them enough to be so candid with them, I did have two instances which did not go so well. When I told one close friend about my past mental-health history, he became completely fixated on this one aspect of my life. Every time we spoke after that, he would incessantly ask how I was doing and if I was okay. Every single conversation would veer back to the same point. We eventually drifted apart. And when I told one of my relatives about my history, he basically wanted nothing to do with me from that point on.
When it comes to romantic relationships, there is hardly any debate on whether or not to disclose. The debate is more when to disclose. If you disclose too early, you run the risk of scaring off the person before he or she really gets to know you. If you wait too long, however, the person might get the feeling either that you were trying to hide your past or that you didn’t trust him or her well enough to tell him or her for so long.
Once I was dating a girl named Valerie. I decided to tell her on our fourth date about my depression, my hospitalization, the whole works. I guess the timing was right in my case, because Valerie and I will be celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary this year.
The bottom line is that although there are both risks and benefits in disclosing your mental-health history to others, the decision of whether to do so or not is totally up to you, and you alone.