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My name is Christian Huygen. I’m a psychologist. I’m the director of the only mental-health agency of its kind in the United States. And I’m not satisfied.
For the past four years, I’ve been working to provide gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people who are living with mental illness with a place where they can have safety, dignity and freedom of choice. For the past four years, I’ve worked with a wonderful staff of professionals, peer specialists, student interns and volunteers. I’ve seen our membership grow to over 300 people, and I have the data to show that we’ve kept 95% of those people out of the hospital and in the community, leading productive lives and building their recoveries.
But that still isn’t enough.
I want all mental-health consumers to have the freedom to choose to be in a relationship—or not. I want all mental-health consumers to be respected by their peers and care providers, whether or not they choose to be in a relationship, and no matter whom they choose to be in a relationship with.
Even that isn’t enough for me. I want all relationships to be respected and valued. Sometimes we put so much weight on wishing we had a romantic or sexual relationship, and it leads us to overlook how important our other relationships are.
We don’t have enough words for the different ways people have of connecting with each other. There are some relationships that are about watching sports together. There are some that are about playing games, whether it’s bridge or mah jongg or Dungeons and Dragons. There are some relationships that we express by playing music together, or listening to music, or dancing.
Working relationships are very important. Being part of a team and doing meaningful work together—those are some of the most important relationships I know.
Recovery relationships can be priceless. The people who support us in our recovery from drugs, alcohol and psychiatric symptoms are like angels in our lives. The people who just listen quietly, or are willing to keep us company even when we’re feeling down, help us much more than they (or we) realize sometimes.
The relationships where we help someone else can be even more important. The chance to give back some of the support and acceptance that we’ve received, and see that we are capable of helping, is very, very precious.
I don’t just want dignity, freedom and respect for myself, or just for other gay people, or just for people who are LGBT. I want you to have the dignity, freedom and respect that all people deserve.
Then, maybe, I’ll be satisfied.